Psycho ex

My ex boyfriend is a psychopath. If you don’t believe me feel free to ask my current one.

Let me give you a backstory.

We dated, for about 6 months and out of the blue ended it with me. Being stupid I got back together with him and a month later he did the same thing, ended it, over msn.

I was devestated at the time.

Anyway cutting a long story short he went straight into a relationship with an American woman.

I was on my own chattig to my current partner, who at the time was just a friend. It became apparent my ex hacked my facebook when me and R sat on msn chatting and we both saw a message pop up on facebook, from me to R…. But I hadn’t sent it.

I checked all my other accounts and sure enough he had hacked them too; he’d sent messages to people pretending to be me so I changed all my passwords.

Over the next few months he would try to hack again, sometimes he managed to get into my accounts. When he couldn’t he would create fake profiles with no information on and message R pretending to know his secrets and would tell.

Anyway about 6 months ago I received a message from a girl who lived quite close to me. So we chatted. She started messaging R too and after a few days I got suspicious. The interests of this girl were similar or the same as the ex, some of the wordings she used was the same but what made it concrete for me was a line she said. I don’t recall it now but at the time I knew it was the exact same thing ex had said to me.

R believed me so we started trolling, putting messages on her wall with ex’s name until we both got blocked.

Fast forward 6 months to this week and I got a message again from this girl (or should I say ex). I let R know and then suddenly he received a message.

We chatted but knowing it was my ex we didn’t quit tell the truth, well not all of the time anyway. ‘She’ wanted to know details of our love life, sex life etc so we made stuff up, told the ex what I knew he wanted to hear (or read). She was saying one thing to me and another to R she was trying to split us up, telling R how she was a million times better than me and since he was chatting to her must be bored of me and want someone new, and better.

After a few days we called her out; suggested we meet, or cam or voice chat. Excuse after excuse, and then contradictions. For instance R was told the webcam didn’t work, yet a few hours later I was told she’d had a webcam session with someone earlier that day.

I looked at my ex’s profile to see if he had put anything on there about this psychotic behaviour, nothing. So I checked his wifes (the american, yes he married her). Again nothing.

We said we wanted proof JosieRedhead was real, and she kept giving excuses but eventually gave her email address and facebook profile. So as a good sceptic me and R checked the profile out, which had just been created. I’m sorry but if you are going to make a fake person do it properly, create the whole life for this character before making them live online.

We called her on this. Suddenly we are blocked again. Shock horror.

Now I know my ex and I know he has his wifes login details for all websites so thought I would check his profile and his wifes, maybe even message her…. Oh wait I’m blocked from both. Now if JosieRedhead is not my ex then why had he suddenly blocked me on his and his wifes account?
Checked the same on R’s account. Again he is blocked but he has never spoken to either my ex or his wife before so why is R blocked? That’s right, this woman we talked to was my ex.

Now he has spent the past week trying to split me and R up and I want him to pay.

I’ve done a bit of snooping and found out his and his wifes address in America, I’ve also learned that his visa is not yet complete even though they’re married so it can be revoked. I figure his wife doesn’t know what he’s been doing since one of her statuses was complaining he wouldn’t come to bed, this was at the exact same time he was messaging me and R as Josie.

Should I be evil and publish his name and address or not? I was thinking of writing to his wife but he can’t work yet so would see the post and being from the UK would know and make sure she didn’t receive it.

Now I have nothing against his wife. She has messaged me in the past apologising, and then had to do it under a false account because he gets on her profiles (which I then went on to tell the ex whilst he was this female character, I knew it would cause friction). I really truly feel sorry for his wife not knowing what a psychopath she has married.

Oh well it will end soon when his visa comes through as he only married her so he could live in the USA. Maybe he won’t get his cisa, not if I have my way. I will destroy him and his marriage for what he’s done.

In case any of you are wondering, his name is Joseph Shield but goes by Joe and he is a psychopathic stalker. One year on, even after he got married is he still trying to mess with my life. In case you meet him in person he is a Brit living in Rome, Georgia (USA).

WGW April 2012

So it's almost that time of year again where Goths from all over the UK, and even some from abroad make their way up to North Yorkshire to the small seaside town of Whitby for the Bi-Annual event called Whitby Goth Weekend.

This year the dates are 26-30th April 2012. Yes I know, it is more than a two day event but not everyone can make it during the week so the weekend is the most active.

I, myself have only been to one WGW but I thoroughly enjoyed myself, even if I didn't have the full experience. Unfortunately I didn't manage to spend the whole weekend there, instead we drove there on the Saturday, came back same day and did the same again on the Sunday.

This April may be the same for me, if I can make it at all. Due to work I may not be able to attend, and to be honest if I could attend only one of the two WGW's I would much rather go to the one over Halloween.

In case you don't know, the WGW is an excuse for the Goths to go shopping, get dressed up, go drinking, meet with friends and make new friends, listen to some live bands and generally have fun. Something different is always one. On the Sunday morning every WGW is Goth Football. A brilliant event in which a football team of Goths go up against the local newspaper for a match to raise money for charity.

I know, amazing isn't it? Goths aren't selfish and do support charity. Who knew?

As well as raffles they also auction off various items.

There are a lot of great views at Whitby too, walking up to the Abbey is a lovely walk, and the view from the top is astounding, it is truly breathtaking.

Admission to the Abbey is expensive but well worth it (or so I'm told). If you don't want to pay into the Abbey then the church at the top of the stairs is always worth a look. During the weekend you usually get quite a lot of photographers and Goths who love posing, some on graves others not. In 2011 the Church asked for people not to pose on gravestones but unfortunately this didn't stop people.

All around Whitby over the weekend you can see Goths getting their pictures taken by 'togs' as they call photographers. You don't just get the traditional Goth attending, you get Cyber Goths, Steampunk, Rockabilly, Psychobilly etc.

If you ever get a chance to attend it is highly recommended. Not only is it a great little Gothic town where Bram Stoker wrote parts of Dracula but it is a traditional town that has some lovely historic sights. 

Just remember though, take good walking shoes as it is very hilly.

What a rip off!

I've been looking at Regretsy tonight and looking at the different things they have on there that they have found for sale on Etsy. I do wonder why some people try to sell their things, but then again it is all hand made and every person has different taste. Some of it though is just plain awful. Whatever my feelings on how bad some of the stuff is this isn't why I'm writing.

Also on the same website is a section for items found on Etsy that are 'hand made' but are clearly not hand made.

For those who are not familiar with Etsy the website is for selling HAND MADE and VINTAGE items. I do not understand why people put items on there that are obviously not hand made. Why do they try to manipulate people into thinking it is?

One of the most obvious items is the Peter Pan DVD I've seen. How on earth can someone hand make Peter Pan, such a classic Disney film? Have they sat there day after day, for weeks on end drawing each frame, colouring it in, sticking it together and finishing the process to make the DVD themselves? Somehow I doubt it.

Other items are hand made, just not hand made by the seller, they have ripped it off from someone else. These people then have the cheek to up the price, sometimes even doubling the price and making a huge profit.

I sell my jewellery on Etsy all the time, or at least I try. I do admit to using big fancy components sometimes, as a lot of people do but I do make the jewellery from scratch. I sit and look at the beads I have, I look at everything I have and sit for ages trying to think about what designs I could make.

If the design doesn't work then I take it a part and start again from scratch.

I hate it when people try to pass off things as hand made when it's not, and I hate the fact people believe it to be hand made so then the genuine hand made items don't look anywhere near as good. It makes me so mad.

End of an Era

An era is defined as:

1. A long and distinct period of history with a particular feature or characteristic.
2. A system of chronology dating from a particular noteworthy event.

I finished work today for the last time and to me this is the end of an era. Over the past 37 months I have gotten to know some wonderful people; I have also gotten to know some people who I would rather not have met. To me leaving work today for the last and final time is the end of an era.

I, along with a few others are moving on to other things, hopefully bigger and better but who knows. The many people I have worked with over the years I have to say I will miss greatly. They are like family. We spend more time together than we do with out families and have over time all taken roles to fit a family life; even if these roles are not the same with every person.

I have been the youngest in the company since I started and to a few people have taken on a daughter type role, in other words even though I don't act like a daughter they are as protective over me as parents, which I have to say has been annoying sometimes.

I've had arguments with almost everyone there, and with 2 people in particular, but as I see it all families have arguments, we can't all get along all of the time.

Even though we have had our disagreements I have the utmost respect for these people and I always will. They have been brilliant colleagues and fantastic friends. These people are irreplaceable.

This afternoon was great, we all went to the pub and have spent the afternoon drinking and having a laugh with each other. All differences have been put aside and we have just gone and enjoyed ourselves. I was the first to leave the pub as I needed to be home and finish packing for my move tomorrow but I really didn't want to leave the pub. I wanted to spend as much time with my colleagues as possible; maybe thinking that if the day didn't end then the fact I may never see them again wasn't real. Unfortunately I think it has really only just hit me that it is real, and I won't see most of these people again. Some of them I have as friends on Facebook, others I don't but I will be trying to stay in touch with everyone.

I know I'm not the most popular person, and I have a strange personality but I do hope that these people stay in touch and we do stay friends. I am like marmite, people either love me or hate me, unfortunately most people seem to hate me, but I'm not changing my personality for others.

Anyway, back to the point. I will miss everyone dearly and I do hope they all find something they enjoy soon. 

Thank you Liz, John, Mike, Sally, Jane, Shauna, Kim, Lee, Robin, Vicky, Steve B, Steve K, Roy, Dannii, Martin and everyone else for putting up with me all of this time.

This really is the end of an era for me.

Unemployment and free labour

In my previous rant/blog I posted about the job centre wanting people to work full time jobs for free - if you haven't read this article you can read it here.
I sat on the train on Friday evening heading up North like I do most weekends and I sat and read the Metro. I came across a great article which proved my point exactly.

My previous blog about unemployment and working for free was really just showing an argument between myself and some moron who didn't have a clue what he was talking about. I can understand different views but this I really feel strongly about.

The story I read as about Tesco, a big corporate store that is known nationwide. This food store (which now sells everything from clothes to computers) was advertising for full time workers to work the night shift for no more money than benefits. The advert stated the employee would only get travel and child care expenses paid.

In case you cannot see the picture clear enough here is a written version of the brief article.

'Tesco has been attackedo on Twitter after advertising for a permanent night worker to be paid expenses on top of their Jobseeker's Allowance.

The supermarket giant was criticised on the day it was revealed British unemployment rose to 2.67 million in the three months to December.
One tweet read: 'I will not buy another item from you until you abandon workfare slavery'.

Tesco's Facebook page was flooded with comments, such as 'Don't expect free labour from the taxpayer, you leeches'.

Tesco claimed the Jobcentre Plus post was 'a mistake caused by an IT error'.

David Nieberg, a spokesman for the supermarket, said the advert was for an intern and part of the government's 'work-for-your benefits' programme that sees Jobcentre Plus match 18 to 24 year olds to companies to help them find jobs.

Joanna Long, Boycott Workfare spokeswoman, said: 'What the DWP calls work experience is forced unpaid labour.'

In August, Tesco admitted to hiring 3,000 jobseekers. 'So far, 300 young people have gone on to get permanent employment,' added Mr Nieberg.

So if Tesco are doing this, advertising positions like the night worker one then how many other companies are doing the same, taking advantage of the unemployed and of the government? Tesco was caught out this time but how many of the 3000 that they have hired have been employed this way through the 'work-for-your benefits' programme?

We should not allow this to go on, and we should not stand for the abuse of the unemployed. I myself am not unemployed but I could be. I was made redundant but found a job straight away so I'm lucky, but these people who have lost jobs etc. should not be made to work for nothing!

Unemployment and free labour

In my previous rant/blog I posted about the job centre wanting people to work full time jobs for free - if you haven't read this article you can read it here.
I sat on the train on Friday evening heading up North like I do most weekends and I sat and read the Metro. I came across a great article which proved my point exactly.

My previous blog about unemployment and working for free was really just showing an argument between myself and some moron who didn't have a clue what he was talking about. I can understand different views but this I really feel strongly about.

The story I read as about Tesco, a big corporate store that is known nationwide. This food store (which now sells everything from clothes to computers) was advertising for full time workers to work the night shift for no more money than benefits. The advert stated the employee would only get travel and child care expenses paid.
In case you cannot see the picture clear enough here is a written version of the brief article.

'Tesco has been attackedo n Twitter after advertising for a permanent night worker to be paid expenses on top of their Jobseeker's Allowance.
The supermarket giant was criticised on the day it was revealed British unemployment rose to 2.67 million in the three months to December.
One tweet read: 'I will not buy another item from you until you abandon workfare slavery'.
Tesco's Facebook page was flooded with comments, such as 'Don't expect free labour from the taxpayer, you leeches'.
Tesco claimed the Jobcentre Plus post was 'a mistake caused by an IT error'.
David Nieberg, a spokesman for the supermarket, said the advert was for an intern and part of the government's 'work-for-your benefits' programme that sees Jobcentre Plus match 18 to 24 year olds to companies to help them find jobs.
Joanna Long, Boycott Workfare spokeswoman, said: 'What the DWP calls work experience is forced unpaid labour.'
In August, Tesco admitted to hiring 3,000 jobseekers. 'So far, 300 young people have gone on to get permanent employment,' added Mr Nieberg.

So if Tesco are doing this, advertising positions like the night worker one then how many other companies are doing the same, taking advantage of the unemployed and of the government? Tesco was caught out this time but how many of the 3000 that they have hired have been employed this way through the 'work-for-your benefits' programme?

We should not allow this to go on, and we should not stand for the abuse of the unemployed. I myself am not unemployed but I could be. I was made redundant but found a job straight away so I'm lucky, but these people who have lost jobs etc. should not be made to work for nothing!

Valentines.... is it good or bad?

Now I am a hopeless romantic, I always have been and always will be. When it comes to Valentines Day I love to have someone to spend the days with, to do things together, to spoil them and be spoilt but to be honest it doesn't bother me that much.
If I don't have someone to spend Valentines Day with then to me it is just another ordinary day. The only different between February 14th and every other day is the price of chocolate, restaurants and other things that are associated with the day.

This year I've got someone to spend the day with, well sort of. I'm stuck in Hull for the time being and my OH is in Darlington, both of us are at work so we're not going to see each other until the weekend.

We did our day on Saturday 11th February; well we sort of did. All we did was exchange cards.

On the inside of the card he made an effort even if the card itself wasn't romantic. The interior consisted of our little private joke so he did think about it.

I don't like spending an excessive amount of money on one day when I could save that money and spend it on something a bit more special, a weekend away, concert tickets or a night out for us both.

I can understand why people like the day, and why they buy each other expensive gifts, especially considering men tend to forget this day but to me it's a bit over the top. I tell my OH I love him every day. Out of the blue he buys me gifts and I think this in itself is more special that celebrating the one day of the year we are told to celebrate and get loved up for.

I love my OH and tell him all the time and this isn't going to change, so I for one will not be celebrating Valentines Day even if the rest of the world is.
I would like to say though, the single people would stop moaning about people enjoying the day. This isn't fair for the people trying to enjoy it.

Before you tell me it's not real...

I already know this but over the last six or so months I have really gotten into WWE wrestling.
Every time I go to see my OH we watch Monday night RAW and Friday night Smackdown. For me it's fun to watch; and as OH says it is just likes Soaps but for men.

Now I love the fact that at the Royal Rumble this year they brought some of thw old wrestlers back. I also love the fact that the wrestlers that are in it now are a combination of old and new. When I say old and new what I mean is wrestlers I used to watch as a kid and ones that I've not seen before.
Rey Mysterio, Randy Orton, John Cena, The Undertaker and Triple H were all in it when I watched as a teenager. They are still in it today. The Undertaker recently made a come back after disappearing after last years Wrestlemania and I know it's sad but I got excited.

In the past few months some great wrestlers have returned, including CM Punk, The Undertaker, Chris Jericho, Kane and after a few month absence The Great Khali returned at the Royal Rumble in the main event.

On Monday nights RAW the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels is making a return too.... Someone else I loved watching growing up
.
Now to the rant.

Daniel Bryan is someone I've not liked since I first saw him, not because he's not a good wrestler but because of his attitude, his personality. Every single match he has been in he has slithered out of, either by running away or winning by disqualification. This weeks Smackdown he wound The Big Show up, knowing he would retaliate and meaning he would win the match by default.
Daniel Bryan stole the World Heavyweight Championship belt by cheating, ok it was legal and nothing in thw rules stated he couldn't do what he did but any other wrestler wouldn't have sunk as low as he did.
 
AJ, the 'girlfriend' of Daniel got knocked over by The Big Show and now Daniel has it in for him, the only problem is it was Daniel's fault she got hurt because he decided to leave the ring, run past her, and putting her in the way of the gentle giant.

I am debating turning away from the WWE all together now because his story is getting beyond funny.
He is not the only one who irritates me, who I don't like. I can't stand The Miz, Wade Barret or Cody Rhodes.

I won't go into why now, I may save that for another rant, but I am now considering not watching Wrestlemania.

Working Full Time for FREE!!!

'Hull has more volunteers, but are unpaid workers replacing staff?'

This is the title of the article I've been reading on my local news website. Basically the jist of it is in comparison to 2010 the amount of volunteers in Hull has risen by 45% which is pretty good.
I made a comment on this article.


'Well I have been on the JobCentre website a lot lately, looking for a job anywhere and I noticed quite a few vacancies in the North East that were 37 Hours a Week an unpaid. This was shop work, engineering.... anything you wanted. That to me is not volunteer work, that is manipulative and wrong when people out there need money and need to work.
It's good that more people are volunteering but the 'jobs' I've seen is not volunteering, it's slave labour.'


I personally feel this is justified.

Response from a certain person was this.


'If you are capable of work, have no disability that can stop you from working and have never worked (and therefore not paid any National Insurance or Tax) and receive Benefits then from your point of view you are effectively receiving free money.

If there is no work an area it is apparent that it has become acceptable to be subsidised by those that "are lucky enough to have a job". Those that have a job often do not get "free"money; they have to work to earn it.
Is it is unfair that someone in receipt of "free" money should not be expected to earn that money and at the same time be gaining work experience?
The whole "slave labour" argument is nonsense - unless you really believe that you should receive something for doing nothing.

The Benefits system is a TEMPORARY support net, not a long-term solution or a lifestyle choice, it was never designed that way.'


Is this person a complete moron, where did I say that people were getting money for nothing? See below my response to this idiot.


'what the hell are you on about?

My point was the jobs are 37 hours a week for free, so in other words people doing them still get to claim Dole. If these were paid jobs then people wouldn't be claiming dole and doing the jobs. Use your head!
37 hour a week work is not fair for people who are trying to look for an actual paid job.
I myself have only ever been out of work for one month, yes one month, in my entire working life and I have never claimed a penny from the government. I do not get any benefits whatsoever and don't intend to start either.
Like I said volunteering is a good idea for work experience but since when did that equate to doing a full time job for free when people who want to work, and need to work can't get a paid job because companies are taking advantage of the volunteers.
I got my experience doing an apprenticeship, I earned £80 a week for a year and look at me now, I work full time and have the experience.'


Now like I said, I think voluntary work is a great idea in many respects. The volunteer gets to learn something for work experience and it also helps the company as they are saving some money on some extra staff.

I don't think I am the only one who believes 37 hours for a voluntary job is unreasonable. How on earth can people look for a full time, or even part time paid job if they are working every day? Is it fair that they are working 37 hours a week for £65 dole a week on a voluntary job when someone who works full time in the same job but paid can be earning £250+ a week?

I don't think this is fair. To me a voluntary job is a few hours here and there, to help the shop and to help yourself.

If these jobs that I have seen were made into paid jobs rather than voluntary then this would put unemployment levels down, which means less money for the Government to pay out on people who are out of work.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks 37 hours for voluntary work is unreasonable?

Facing up to the truth

Stuart Gilson, someone I have never met but lives in the same city as me is missing. He has been missing now for 13 days and his family are worried sick about him, and so are his friends. There is a community on Facebook that has been set up for support for his family, for people to give any information they have and to help to look for Stuart.
He is only my age and from what I have read he is a nice person.
We have all be holding out hope for his safe return but after 13 days missing and in the recent weather conditions I am now facing up to the fact that if he is found then he probably won't be alive. I know it is hard to swallow and not a very nice thing to say, especially if his family read this, so to you I am deeply sorry; but recently the night time temperature has been down to -7 degrees celcius, and the day time temperature hasn't really been much better.
We have had snow on the ground for almost a week now, and recently a man was found dead in a park having frozen to death.
It is horrible that Stuart has gone missing, and everyone hopes he turns up safe but the likelihood after a week the chance is very slim.
According to his family it is not like him to disappear and not tell them where he is going. Not to mention that he left his phone, his passport etc. He needed his passport as he was going away on Sunday of last week.
If anyone sees or hears anything in the Kingston upon Hull area, or even further afield please let me know and I can get in touch with his family. Or dial 101 and contact the police, let them know.

My body is ruining my life

I woke up this morning thinking that I wanted to surprise my SO today. We got up and watched the football highlights, sat and watched TV for a bit. I let him go on his game and I played around on the laptop for a bit. This afternoon he had the rugby on and whilst he watched the Six Nations match I started to get ready for the surprise.
I ran myself a bath, had a nice long soak; I only realised it was a long soak when I got out of the bath and the rugby match had almost finished; it only had a few minutes left of the game.
Drying myself off I thought it was too early for the rest of my 'plan' so I watched some TV on BBC IPlayer for a while and my SO played Skyrim.
I went through to the bedroom, spent ages putting my new corset on; and when I say ages I mean it took almost half an hour trying to get it zipped up, then spent another 15 minutes trying to get the lacing right, the tightness.
SO called through for me to come and have tea, so I covered up a bit and went through. He could see I was wearing the corset but I had a pair of tracksuit bottoms on. I had my tea and just as I was finishing I felt a sharp pain in my neck. I have never felt something so excruciating in my entire life. Thinking this was just a spasm or something I took the plates out to the kitchen. Again the same thing happened, shooting pain in my neck.
I went for a lay down for a bit in bed, just to see if that would help; laying still in one position in case I had trapped a nerve. After a while SO came in, my neck not feeling any better.
I was curled up in bed, corset still on just in case the pain went away and I had taken the tracksuit bottoms off to get into bed. I would have taken the corset off but seeing as it took me so long to get into it in the first place there was no way I was going to go through that again. My fingers still hurt now from trying to do it up.
My SO went and made up a hot water bottle whilst I climbed out of bed not feeling any better, the pain still there. Still sharp pains, but not shooting now, just a constant pain.
There is no way now I can stop him watching the Super Bowl and entertain him.
It's the first time in months where neither of us have been too tired or ill. It's one of the only weekends where we haven't been rushing around either or had something planned. It has been a weekend for just us.
I suppose I can try again another time at 'distracting' him, he knows now what I was intending to do because quite frankly I'm rather upset about it. Every time I want to do something something goes wrong with my body. My friends wedding for instance, I ended up with a really bad migraine. The local Fetish night that I had been persuaded to go to I ended up tired and ill. No matter what it is there is always something wrong with me that stops it from happening.
Maybe I should just give up, become a hermit, live alone and block out the outside world. Then there is nothing to do, no expectations and no way my body can then give up on me.
I just hope that whilst I'm trying to pack this coming week that I don't get ill, or I'm not too tired to do anything. I have less than three weeks now and I really need to get the packing done before then.

Which blog to use

I am not always in to write on a regular basis so I’ve started blogging on the go. Since the start of the year I’ve used Blogger for my writing but recently started using WordPress.

So far I much prefer WordPress over Blogger, for a start I have the android app for WordPress so I am able to blog on the go. The android app for Blogger is infected with a virus, even getting it through the android marketplace after having it for 8-10 hours I get messages up on my phone saying I need to upgrade the battery…. after googling this I found out that an app I have is infected. So I’ve now removed the app and now the message stops coming up.

So I do like Blogger, I have followers, to be honest not a lot of followers but think I will keep the account for the blogs I follow, so I can read them on the go. I do like having WordPress and think this will become my proper blog; either that or seeing as different people use both I will keep running both of them simultaneously and maybe post the same thing on both.
What do you think I should do?

My new love

I got in tonight, as I'm staying with my other half for the weekend and there it was waiting for me. The corset I've been wanting for so long yet have never been able to afford.

Black pvc, steel bones, 12 pair of eyelets, 6 glistening gold buckles, gorgeous silver zipped front. It is my dream corset.

I ripped open the packaging, took it out, smelt every detail of it. The smell of pvc is gorgeous.

The next hour I spent lacing it. Stripped my top half off and proceeded to put it on.

My OH helped lace me into it properly; pulling it tighter and tighter so I could barely breathe.

I am so in love with it. I am going out tomorrow night now just as an excuse to wear it and show off. It is the nicest thing anyone has ever bought me.

20 inch corset and I love it.

Thank you Rob for getting me the most wonderful gift.

Irritant People

I've been doing a lot of reading lately, mainly of blogs and a few days ago I came across a blog, via facebook that made me really irate.

I don't use Wordpress but thought I would take a look as it was an entire blog about tattoos; and anybody who knows me knows I have a few of my own and I love tattoos.

This woman started of saying that she hated posting these kind things; well that got me thinking straight away that it was not going to be a very good post. The kind of post you know that is deliberately stirring trouble. Well I was right about this.

The article was stating that women should not have tattoos, that women should worship their bodies and treat them like temples because men drool over them. If that is the case then why are there so many female models and adult movie stars with tattoos, men love them. Admitedly not all men but not everyone likes the same thing.

"So what’s more attractive than a girl with a nice body? I’ll tell you what: a girl with class. Looks may not last, but class does. And so do tattoos." Right, so what you're telling me is women with tattoos are not classy. Does this apply to men too?

"Invest your time, money, and effort into a gym membership, or yoga classes, or new clothes, or experimenting with different hairstyles if you’re craving something new with your body, not a tattoo." So we should waste money on something temporary rather than something that lasts forever.

This woman also stated "Can you get meaning out of a tattoo? Arguably. If you want to insert ink into your skin as a symbol for something greater than yourself, then maybe you are proving a point to yourself or the rest of the world" well as a matter of fact yes you can get meaning out of a tattoo.
I have 2 tattoos, both of which I can have displayed if I so wish and keep covered if I so wish. Both of these have meaning to me. My first is a vampire, that shows my personality, a side of myself that is different. My other I had done after having my heart ripped to pieces, this was done as a reminder to myself not to let that happen to me again.
I can tell you something, this has worked. I am in a great relationship now with a wonderful guy and it is going great. This relationship is completely different to every other one I've had and I love the relationship.

So far this blogger has had thousands of replies from people with and without tattoos complaining about her lack of respect for others who choose to have tattoos. It really irritates me when people judge others by the way they look, by the music they listen to, the area they are from. Why not judge a person after you have met them and gotten to know them?

I know I myself am judging this woman but this is not the first blog she has done like this. Her entire blog is 'dissing' people with tattoos; people she has never met and will never meet yet chooses to publicly judge them to the whole world. Well guess what, I am doing the same thing to this woman. I think she is a prude, she needs to learn to live a little instead of sitting at a computer every single day complaining about the people of the world. Maybe she should get a tattoo too, something that she likes, that is meaningful to her, her mums name or something.

Anyway, seeing as I have mentioned my tattoos I'll let you have a look at them.

Life is a rollercoaster

Lately my life has been very up and down. I've lost my job, my home and I've been very down because of this.

I have had a few ups, like seeing my other half for the first time since new year, and finally going out with friends. My other half has even bought the corset I've been wanting as a way to cheer me up.

In a few weeks I will pack my life into boxes and move 100 miles north to live with the 'inlaws'.

I am looking forward to it as I have been wanting to move but at the same time it's scary and I don't want to do it. It's a big change for me, leaving my home town.

My next step is to find another job. I have applied for loads only to be responded with 'not enough experience' or 'too much experience'. I am hoping to get a job quickly but I won't be holding my breath.

So I've decided, I'm not going to let things get my down anymore. I have my health, friends ans my other half and that's all that really matters.

I actually hate the human race

I have had a bad enough year as it is without people screwing me around.

With the lack of job and needing to move I'm having to sell a lot of stuff, like my sofa, bed, tv etc. I've had everything up on gumtree, stuff4sale and even ebay but nothing.

I've had someone today call me and wanting my sofa, I even put the price down for a quick sale. They said it was a definite and to take it off the websites. I did as they asked seeing as I was selling it. Getting home I tidied a bit and sorted it out so that I could move the sofa out. Turning to 7pm they text, no longer interested in the sofa.

Now I've had to put it back up online for sale.

This was just the cherry on top of the horrible day I've had. At work we got an email message from the company who took over. The message lied, and yet again they have pushed the date further back. We all know we are losing our jobs as they are closing the office yet they won't get on with things and actually give us our redundancy dates. The tenancy on the building runs out in less than a month, some peoples notice periods are 12 weeks, of course they won't be able to work them but they will have to be paid for them.

I need to give notice of my flat in by the 31st January so I do hope they give us notice before then so I can hand the notice in.

I've got so much to do in preparation for moving. I haven't even got any boxes for packing yet. One of  the girls at work said she will give me some but I need them yesterday, I want to get everything I'm keeping packed so then I know what I'm getting rid of.

Looks like a lot of things will be going to charity shop very soon.... I will miss all of my teddies, some I've had since I was a kid and now they've having to go.

Oh well enough ranting and raving, I had better get on with the job hunt, as well as getting showered and finding something to eat.

Things possibly on the up

Well I've had no luck on the job front, we still don't know the exact date we get made redundant as they keep pushing it back further and further but there is a plus side. I got home from work today, put the shopping away that I got on the way home, put the boxes to the side ready for packing tomorrow and I've sat on the sofa feeling very chilled and relaxed.

We left work early today as they said it had been a very tough week for all of us, with the new company being in the office and us being interviewed by them. That was the most nerve racking thing ever, but they are back next Thursday. I don't expect to be told then either but it is buying us more time, therefore more money; on the downside we're nervous all the time and the waiting is killing me.

I got home to a letter from the landlord, which I find is never good but it was just to advise that the lock had been changed on the back door.
I also received my water bill. It's not the lowest it's ever been but it is a lot lower than I was expecting, so it gives me an extra few pennies to spend this month.... or should I say save.

I have paid that and decided that I deserve a treat. Rather than alcohol as usual I've gone for a tub of ice cream. A girl cannot go wrong with ice cream.

I hope things are on the up from now on. I hope that I get one of the many many jobs I have applied for and I hope I get one soon.

Fingers crossed I win the euro-millions tonight, or at least enough to get me by for a while. Hopefully my good luck teddy the my OH got me will bring me some luck.

The time has come

The deed has been done and the contract signed. Now we await for news on what is happening next.

I am so nervous but there is nothing I can do to change things, the outcome is inevitable.

What to do next?

Well I decided at New Year I was going to have a good 2012. Well within the first week I managed to find a broken fridge/freezer in my home, with all the food gone bad and then had some very bad news at work.

I haven't mentioned the work news yet, but that is because I don't particularly want someone from work finding out if they haven't yet been told by management.

I don't know whether it is good or bad at the minute. Our company is being taken over, they are closing our office down, and making us all redundant; or at least that is one possiblity. They have told us they may offer a job in the office in Cheltenham but clearly they won't offer everyone that because if they did then why close our office down and ship everyone south.

I would take up the offer of moving if they offered it to me. If they don't then I'm not in a good position. I will lose my flat; my landlord has already stated that he will not accept DSS in his properties, meaning I will have nowhere to live.
On the plus side my OH's parents have offered to take me in. Of course I would be paying rent but that means a move to Darlington.

I've been wanting to move to Darlington for a while now and I think this may be the kick in the backside I need to make it happen. To date I have only said I will move to Darlington once I find a job.

If I do get offered relocation I'd jump at the chance. I don't think they will but you have to hope and keep positive don't you?
My OH is a bit sick of where he lives and I wouldn't mind getting out of here so could be an adventure for us; a new start.

Either way I'll be happy; I have my OH and that's the main thing.

When do you need to grow up?

I'm 21 years of age and I still love watching kids shows. I have the sky package and love watching Disney Channel but am I too old to still enjoy these shows?

I think after working every day, trying to make ends meat everyone needs to relax, and my way to relax is kids shows. After all when I watch them I don't need to think or concentrate on anything. When I've had a bad day and need cheering up there is nothing better than watching a Disney show or film. High School Musical for instance whilst definitely aimed at teenage girls is a great way to make you smile. If I have a bad day and want something to make me laugh or smile I put this on, it is corny and very cheesy but the upbeat tones of the music and the fact that it has a happy ending would make most people smile.... or cringe because it is tacky.

I am not even the oldest person I know who watches these. My friend is in her 40's now and she loves Disney, in fact she uses the excuse of having a 12 year old girl to take her to live shows.

So I'm of an age now where I shouldn't be watching kids shows but still love them, is it time for me to grow up and stop watching these or should I continue to watch these for as long as they still make me smile?

The only thing I don't like about the Disney Channel is they are still showing episodes of shows such as That's So Raven that I have seen a million times over and they originally aired when I was in my early teens. Don't get me wrong, they do show new programmes and new episodes of series but the old ones should be replaced, I'm not so sure that they make me smile any more. Could it have something to do with the fact I know what is going to happen in that episode, or am I just outgrowing the shows?

Either way I don't think anyone should be in a rush to grow up, no matter how old you are. Men for instance are gamers, or at least a lot of them are, and to me games are something children play. So if my boyfriend can enjoy playing Skyrim and temporarily making me a Skyrim widow then surely I can still have that bit of a child in me that enjoys Disney shows.